My last blog post was for my New Years resolutions, which I've mostly failed. Oh I’ve done a bit of editing, I’ve written some here and there, and I did come up with some new ideas in the last few months. But for all of that I don’t feel like I’ve been doing much, in fact I know I haven’t been.
But yesterday that changed. Yesterday I started writing a new book. I’ve never done a story like this one and I don’t know that it, or I, am ready for this but I’m doing it anyway.
Why? Because Camp NaNoWriMo started yesterday.
Ever since I discovered NaNoWriMo two years ago I have been coming back to write for it. I’ve completed two November sessions and one camp so far (I would have done both camps last year but I had family stuff the second time around.) I don’t have a published novel to show for any of those months nor anything that might be one but I still count them as wins.
Why? Because for those months I was a writer.
I wrote every week during those months. I piled up words and made something out of them. Oh, they are mostly ramblings that need will chainsaw for revision and more than a bit is fanfiction and therefore un-publishable but it is still writing, writing I enjoyed very much.
If I ever do become a published author I will have to dedicate a book to NaNoWriMo and everyone involved. NaNo keeps me coming back to writing and that is something I am more than grateful for. I have awful self control and I know that until I can discipline myself to write all the time I will never really go anywhere with writing, but until then NaNo will keep me coming back to my dream.
I might slack off and write nothing at all for months at a time but I know that for three months out of the year there is a standing challenge to jump in and write.
And I will answer.
I may not always make it, truthfully that camp I said I had family stuff, well I did, but I also was totally unprepared and my pantsing it plan derailed the first week in. I didn’t make it that month but I did learn that I do much better with a plot sketched out beforehand.
I will strive to write more and oftener but if, or rather when, I slip up and let it the days stretch into months without consistency, I know that NaNo will come around and pick me up, toss me around, and send me on another whirlwind writing adventure to get me going again. And for that month I will live my dream, I will be a writer.
As the memories of those months pile up like the words I’ve written during them I know that I am getting closer to the day when it won’t just be a dream lived out three months of the year.
Someday, I will be a writer. Until then, I will welcome the challenge offered three months in a year.
If you have the desire to write, and you do write, then you're a writer, even if you only work at it three months a year. All that means is that it will take you longer to get enough practice at writing to make your goals happen.
ReplyDeleteOn a personal level I agree with you, I consider 'writer' to be a part of my identity. But when I say that I'm not a writer yet I mean more that I don't feel comfortable owning that title. I don't have enough to show for my ambitions to really qualify as a 'real writer' and I feel awkward telling someone that I'm a writer because I don't do it all the time and I have very little to show for it. I'm not living it so I don't really feel I deserve the title yet.
DeleteI think it's wonderful that you can look back and see what something like NaNo has taught you about your writing, especially during moments when you don't reach the goals you may have set. I've been doing a bit of an experiment to see what happens when I plot & pre-plan as opposed to when I just go off the cuff. Either way I see you as a writer my friend, despite what there is to "show" for it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Alex, I think it's mostly that dreaded "What are you doing these days?" question that gets me down. At the moment I'm not really doing much of anything and if I say "I'm a writer." they'll want to know what I write, and if I haven't been it's awkward. Hopefully my project this month will go well, it's simpler plot wise then my other works in progress and would give me an answer for them.
DeleteGood luck with your experimenting, so far for me I've found that I work better when I know where I'm going with a story, but a lot of things, character personalities and setting details for instance, come easier when I'm in the middle of writing.